Like the prodigal son, I came to my senses.
I realized I was the cause of the disconnection, the fear, the resistance—and the reason my kids didn’t trust me. It wasn’t because of them. It was because of me.
I had put so much fear in them that they couldn’t feel safe around me. They didn’t want to come near me. And for the first time, I saw it: I was the source of fear in my home.
This awakening came through the Holy Spirit. It hit me hard—but it was also filled with love and grace. I wasn’t being judged. I was being awakened. I saw clearly that I was the problem behind so much pain.
But God didn’t leave me there.
He gave me confidence—not just to see the problem, but to know I could change. He said, “You’ve taken ownership of the problem. Now you can take ownership of the solution.”
I was a control freak, and I had to throw control out the door. But the Lord showed me: “Your problem isn’t control. It’s that you tried to control everyone except yourself. What you need is self-control.”
So that became my focus—exercising self-control in the Spirit, letting the Holy Spirit refine me, sanctify me.
But I also needed tools.
That’s where Loving Our Kids on Purpose and other resources from the Life Academy (The Silk’s) came in. I read a few books, did some training, and started applying the principles. They helped me take responsibility for myself, which opened the door to healing.
From there, I began to rebuild trust with my kids.
I shared with them what I was learning. I modeled it. I taught them the same principles, so they could live in freedom too. And that’s how God began to restore our relationships—beautifully, powerfully.
Behind the scenes, Becca was praying persistently for my freedom. She wasn’t the one on the front stage of this testimony, but she was in the trenches with the Lord, contending in intercession. Honestly, it’s hard to imagine us being where we are today—as a healed and whole family—without her prayers. Her partnership in the Spirit made a way for breakthrough.
The fruit? Freedom in our whole family.
Because I started living in freedom, it began to spread. Now, as a family, we’ve made a commitment:
We will be honest with each other.
We will be respectful.
We will share our real emotions and thoughts—passionately, but with self-control.
Our priority is connection and freedom.
We will strengthen our relationships, go deeper, and protect the love we have from anything that could break it—including ourselves.
God truly redeemed our family—and it started with awakening me, and the faithful prayers of my wife who never gave up.
Teila
I watched my dad transform as he surrendered to God—leading our family with humility and faith. That change reshaped our home and showed me the kind of wife, mother, and partner I hope to become. Together, he and my mom revealed the beauty of a Christ-centered marriage and the lasting legacy it can leave.
EJ
The way that our family operates today is a perfect model for how I want my future family to operate. I have learned the necessity of having Christ as the center of our family. This family has showed me how to comfort others in their times of need, how to guide others when they are being led astray, and most of all, how to love others with a pure heart. Through my dad’s faithfulness and determination, God has used him as an amazing example of what a father should be.
Tia
Your transformation definitely changed our connection as a family and for me specifically I was able to learn the importance of honest communication which I feel is a key value for our family that helped us grow and connect. And even though they weren’t always the most “feel good” talks or easiest changes, they were definitely the most impactful. You played a huge role in shaping me into the person I want to become because of your leadership by example.